So I’d like to talk to you about women’s underwear. I’m of the feeling that it just doesn’t have to be so darn complicated. Men have three choices: boxers, briefs, boxer-briefs. Women have so many choices, including briefs, bikinis, hi-cut briefs, boy shorts, thongs, with lace, without lace, cotton, nylon, and v-cut, not to mention crotchless and edible – it’s mind boggling! How is a woman to choose?
Then we have the upper body. Bras can be underwire, wireless (kind of like radios), low cut, full cut, minimizers, pushups, padded or not. With flowers, lace or little pearly things. Then there’s full coverage or sheer. And that’s another thing. What’s the deal with “full coverage?” Some of them actually have little flower-shaped extra padding so the nipples don’t show. Hey, we have nipples. So do men. So do apes. Who cares?
Then there’s a whole selection of lingerie. Teddies, bustiers, baby dolls (I’m not even going to go INTO that) and camisoles. A friend of mine sent me an email letting me know his wife received a sporting catalog that included a selection of camouflage lingerie. Now exactly what do they camouflage? (If it’s hips and thighs, I’ve gotta get me some.) But explain to me the point of camo lingerie – exactly what are you hiding and why? I mean, if lingerie is supposed to get your lover excited, what good is camouflage if it actually works? Let’s say you decide to have a tryst in your backyard, and you don your camo lingerie, and then your boyfriend can’t find you? I mean, how frustrating is that? What do you have to do then – whistle? My friend suggested perfume. Apparently he’d given the matter some thought.
Men make such a big thing about Victoria’s Secret (I still say Victoria’s secret is her older, fatter sister) and women’s undergarments. I say let’s give women a break. While it’s nice to have choices, ultimately, granny panties or g-strings, whatever comes between us and our Calvins isn’t that big a deal.
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